


you woke the world inside of me

by apocrypha_luxe



Series: take a torch to my defences [4]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Cuddles, Intercrural Sex, M/M, Restless Night, Sleepy Sex, soft heart and heavy thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:55:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23865610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apocrypha_luxe/pseuds/apocrypha_luxe
Summary: 'You're awake.'He brought their twined fingers to his mouth, brushed a kiss over Neji's knuckles.'Mmm, yeah, just thinking.'Lips ghosted up to his neck, a barely-awake trail of kisses that swirled warmth through his bloodstream, Neji's whole body snuggled close something he never imagined would feel so necessary in his bed. Not even three weeks, and he couldn't quite remember how he'd ever managed to sleep alone.
Relationships: Hyuuga Neji/Nara Shikamaru
Series: take a torch to my defences [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1663261
Comments: 15
Kudos: 77





	you woke the world inside of me

**Author's Note:**

> Part 4, Shikamaru’s noisy brain rarely lets him sleep well through the night but maybe that’s starting to change, and Neji sees so damn much. 
> 
> \---
> 
> Title from Like The Dawn by The Oh Hellos.

Breeze drifted in through the open doors, the deep dark of the night blurring the corners of his room with the forest outside. He tugged the sheets up a little higher, burrowed a little further into the warmth of their shared body heat, Neji like an open hearth at his back. A few weeks of this, of  _ them,  _ of Neji here with him more often than not, and Shikamaru could almost not remember what it was like before. Time had been losing track of it's normal pace, perfect nights feeling endless and day bleeding into golden day as they learned each other, as their friendship shifted into this intimacy that was leaving them both permanently short of breath. He kept finding himself zoning out thinking about Neji's smile, his easy laughter at a terrible joke, the way he sipped at tea when it was just a little too hot, the way he shivered and sighed when Shikamaru slowly sunk into the tight grip of his body. Everything felt so new but somehow also like a rediscovery, like they were excavating a home they'd shared before. 

A hand on his hip pulled him from his thoughts, he hadn't even noticed Neji waking at his back, so lost to the machinations of his soft heart. He tugged Neji closer, tangled their hands as he wrapped his arm over Shikamaru's chest and pressed a kiss to the curve of his shoulder.

'You're awake.'

He brought their twined fingers to his mouth, brushed a kiss over Neji's knuckles.

'Mmm, yeah, just thinking.'

Lips ghosted up to his neck, a barely-awake trail of kisses that swirled warmth through his bloodstream, Neji's whole body snuggled close something he never imagined would feel so necessary in his bed. Not even three weeks, and he couldn't quite remember how he'd ever managed to sleep alone.

'How unusual for you.'

He huffed a breath of quiet laughter against the clutch of their hands as Neji dropped another kiss to his neck.

'Anything you want to share?'

_ Just that I want to keep doing this forever.  _

'I have a mission this weekend. I signed up for it weeks ago and now I'm wishing I hadn't. Don't wanna leave.'

Neji shuffled a little at his back, propped an elbow by the pillow and rested his head against his palm to gaze down at him. Shikamaru watched him back, moonstone eyes soft with sleep and tender things.

'Your birthday.'

The _avoidance_ of his birthday. Only he didn't want to run this year. He wanted to be _here._ Wanted to be with Neji, wanted to let Ino throw the party for him that he knew she wanted but had stopped asking for. Joint birthdays, the way they used to celebrate before he felt too haunted for it. The solitude suddenly wasn't sounding so appealing.

'I bail. The last few years I just, I don't know, didn't want to keep counting them, felt like a bad omen. Too many people kept dying and it was feeling like a countdown of my own I guess. So I take missions, I leave, I disappoint Ino. Disappoint a lot of people. It's a habit.'

His throat felt tight. Neji's fingers squeezed his.

'We all have coping strategies. I'm sure Ino understands, I'm sure all the people who love you understand.'

He glanced out to the forest, pulled breath past the weight of self-awareness on the back of his tongue.

'Mmm. Still feels like a dick move though, taking off on everyone.'

He could feel Neji watching him closely, working through the things Shikamaru wasn’t saying.

'And now you don't want to leave.'

There was a question in there, even if it sounded like a statement. He turned back to meet an understanding gaze.

'And now I don't want to leave.'

Neji rubbed his thumb over his knuckles, soft smile playing at the edge of his lips.  _ Yeah, you're having one hell of an effect on me.  _

'Don't feel like I need to run this year.'

He tugged at Neji's hand, pulled until he was laying draped over him, stole a kiss that stayed sweet, just the soft catch of lips.

'I want to be here with you, want to celebrate.'

Neji hummed as he grazed another kiss across his mouth, pressed their tangled hands into the pillow.

'And you can't delay the mission a few days, I take it?'

He snaked his free hand around to stroke at the base of Neji's spine, dipped low, felt Neji's breath hitch as his fingertips skimmed the swell and dip of his ass.

'Nah, already tried.'

Neji's thigh brushed his cock, halfway to hard just from the sweet press of their bodies, Neji in a similar state where he was tucked against his hip. There was a gentle, quiet luxury in slowly growing hot and needy together, wrapped up in warm sheets with cool night breeze sweeping the forest air through the room. 

'Well I'm quite certain Ino would still relish putting something together last minute, if you asked her.'

She would. Even the mention of it would light her up, he was sure. They hadn't even talked about it this year, she'd just assumed he wasn't sticking around again and she'd been right, and knowing he was hurting her with that made him feel like an S-Rank Asshole. She'd forgive him too, which almost made it worse. Maybe this particular coping strategy had seen its last days, maybe he could give her that much. 

He hummed in agreement as he looped his calf over the back of Neji's knee and tugged at him, pulled his thigh up a little higher to give him more pressure to grind against. He groaned at the friction, left his leg draped over Neji's in a loose embrace.

'And you and I? Perhaps we'll just need to spend the next couple of days having our own private celebration. Give you something pleasant to think on while you're away.'

He smirked at the lines, at the thought of Neji ditching work to stay in bed with him. Maybe he was having an effect on Neji too. He moaned as Neji rocked against him, mouth dragging over his, chasing the sound, licking at his bottom lip.

'You gonna reshuffle your schedule for me, Hyūga?'

Neji's lips worked their way downwards, teeth grazed his throat and he could feel a smile in the soft shivering of breath over his skin.

'I'm of a mind to, if you'd like?'

One last squeeze of fingers and then Neji's hand was trailing down his chest, palm a soft weight where it settled on his hip.

'Oh,  _ I'd like.' _

He groaned as Neji sucked a bruise into the ridge of his collarbone.

'Your clan aren't asking troublesome questions yet about all these absent nights?'

A bruise into his neck,  _ gods, yeah,  _ he pressed up into it, encouraged it.

'They'll turn a blind eye to certain things, as long as I'm discreet. And no one turns up pregnant, of course.'

He heard the smirk in Neji's voice as lips caught at his earlobe, teeth scraping over his earring, a kiss dropped to his temple.

'Hmn, saved by a technicality. Lucky us.'

Neji's quiet laughter spilled across his skin as lips worked along his jaw and it didn't take much to coax their mouths back together, tongues stroking the lazy kiss deeper, the gentle grind of their bodies drawing up heat in easy tendrils. A gust of breeze swept through the curtain of Neji's hair that spilled around them, stirred the scent of deep night forest through the traces of sandalwood lingering in his long tresses, the musk of warm skin and arousal growing heady between them. He moaned as he felt Neji's cock begin to slip against him, slick, leaking over his hip, his own throbbing and dripping in response. Neji's fingers toyed with the peak of his hipbone, traced the strong vee of muscle that led down his pelvis and he arched into the touch, tangled his hands in all that silky hair,  _ tugged,  _ swallowed down Neji's moan as it tumbled over his tongue. Fingers avoided his aching cock entirely, trailed down to knead at the heavy muscle of his inner thigh where he'd spread himself wide and he couldn't help the whine that shook at the back of his throat. Neji's kiss turned filthy at the edges, dipped slow and deep before cresting, teeth snagging his bottom lip, hand still massaging his thigh.

'Is messy alright?'

_ Fuck, always. _

'Mmm yeah, messy is  _ definitely  _ alright. What've you got in mind?'

Lust-blown eyes met his as Neji pulled back to meet his gaze, clouds shifting through arousal-dark skies, his new favourite place to get lost in meditation. He tugged him back down for another kiss and then gave in to Neji's shifting hands moving him, turning him to lay on his side, felt the weight of his body press against his back as he glanced over at the mess of clothes abandoned by the bed.

'Want the oil?'

Neji's hand stroked over his hip and he shivered, the anticipation of not quite knowing what was coming setting his pulse electric. 

'Mmm, just a little.'

He reached to shuffle the bundle of clothes, fingers grasping the bottle of oil as it rolled free, passed it over his shoulder. He couldn't see, but he could  _ hear,  _ and his senses zeroed in on the sound of the bottle cap snapping open, a pause, snapping closed, the soft exhale that was almost a groan falling from Neji's lips and then a warm, heavy hand was stroking over his hip. Neji settled down against his back, pressed lips to his neck, guided his slick cock between Shikamaru's closed thighs and  _ oh.  _

_ Oh _ that was. 

_ Yeah.  _

_ 'Neji.'  _

A quiet hum in reply that shivered into a gasp, a moan, the hand at his hip gripping a little tighter as he squeezed his legs together experimentally, a slow, decadent roll of hips working Neji's cock through the channel of his thighs, grazing sensitive skin with every measured pass.  _ Fuck,  _ it was such a singularly unique sensation, so much like having Neji  _ deep,  _ so  _ entirely different _ to that, close and hot. 

_ 'Good?' _

He groaned as he tried to make his voice work, dropped a hand down to press at the seam of his thighs, fingertips catching over the head of Neji's cock as he rocked forward. 

'Oh  _ yeah,  _ yeah,  _ exceptionally  _ good.'

Another hum against his neck, Neji's hand slipping down to spread wide beneath his navel, holding him close, _tight._ He brushed his fingers over the back of Neji's hand before wrapping them around himself, stroking slow and easy in time with the steady undulation of Neji's hips. Every heavy breath against his neck drew shivers up his spine, called waves of goosebumps over his skin. The feeling of Neji's body pressed so tight along his back, cock dragging between his thighs, was teasing at something wild and filthy in the depths of his brain, a thing that made him want to bare his throat and _beg_ for it to be dirty, for it to be rough and gentle and everything in between. He'd never really trusted anyone to _take_ him like this, into the hazy place where his brain switched into a lower gear, to use him without _using_ him, never trusted anyone to direct his body and make it _good._ And Neji always made it _so fucking good._ Seemed to know what Shikamaru _needed._

He moaned as Neji breathed sweet-hot noises against his neck, rocked them together, his brain catching and releasing at heavy thoughts, never settling anywhere long, his body aching,  _ aching.  _ Neji's hand wandered over his stomach, his chest, fingertips tracing starmaps into his skin until he trembled under the light touch. 

'I want to ask you to try something, if you can.'

Neji's voice was soft,  _ careful,  _ an out of place hesitancy there, and for a moment Shikamaru felt a flash of ice in his chest. He turned to glance over his shoulder, felt the anxiety gutter out as he met Neji's warm gaze. Safe. He was  _ safe  _ here.

'The guilt you're carrying, for leaving, put it down.'

The quiet words punched the air from his lungs, the steadiness of Neji's gentle tone pinning him still. 

'Forgive yourself.'

Neji's hand joined his, restarted his movements where he'd stalled, kept them rocking together. He choked around a sudden, sobbed breath, the last gasp of air leaving him stranded, Neji's lips pressing a kiss behind his ear. 

'You found a way to cope. You're allowed to find your footing, you haven't let anyone down.'

Neji's fingers tangled tighter with his, kept the rhythm of their touch sweet and steady, solar flares of pleasure bursting in his blood with every catch and drag. His mind tried to grapple with the words pressed against his skin, tried to grasp at the self-deprecating rebuttal that usually sat poised and waiting in the cold places that Neji had been warming up in him, found his usual arsenal empty.

_ 'Forgive yourself.' _

He moaned as fingers twisted  _ just right,  _ as Neji's cock stroked higher between his thighs, brushed against his perineum, his balls, slick, perfect friction keeping him in his body as words like tender blades slipped beneath his ribs and opened him up,  _ opened him up.  _

_ 'Neji…' _

Another deep hum pressed to his shoulder and Neji's voice was almost a whisper.

'It's alright, I have you.'

_ Fuck. _ How did he  _ do this?  _ How did he see every one of his sore spots with the same incredible accuracy as he saw tenketsu? The tender words lanced wounds buried under deep scar tissue, siphoned the poison he'd been holding there. The guilt was heavy, he  _ wanted  _ to put it down.

_ 'Just try.' _

Neji's lips were at his jaw, breath falling shivery beneath his steady voice, and  _ gods,  _ Shikamaru wanted to, he  _ wanted _ to. It didn't take much to seek Neji's mouth, to kiss him.

'Yeah, I'll... _ yeah…' _

_ I'll try.  _ There wasn't a promise in there, couldn't be, he didn't know if he had it in him. The urge to shove pain down deep enough that he could ignore it, that he could manage it, the voice in the back of his mind that told him it was what he deserved, this quiet suffering that bound up so many broken parts, casting even a little of it aside just because Neji asked him to felt wildly unimaginable. But he  _ wanted  _ to. 

_ Gods, he wanted to. _

He crushed their mouths together, poured desperation into the kiss and swallowed down Neji's moan, felt frantic around the edges as his brain kept trying to spiral into jagged thoughts while his body called him back,  _ back,  _ cock leaking over their hands, sweat at the base of his spine, the drag and thrust of Neji between his slick thighs, moaning melodic against his tongue. He tightened their joined grip to work himself harder, writhed under the weight of their pleasure, wanted to give Neji what he asked for not because he asked for it but because he'd  _ seen,  _ he'd looked into Shikamaru and had seen how badly he needed to let go and was brave enough to voice it. He felt his eyes prickling with salt-sting, groaned a deep, sobbing breath against Neji's mouth.

_ 'Fuck, Neji,  _ you're tearing me up.'

A twist of hands, heat dripping wet between his thighs, tension building into a tight coil low in his belly.

'I'll catch the pieces, Shikamaru, I've got you.'

_ Gods.  _ Too much, it was all  _ too much  _ and it was  _ perfect,  _ and he  _ wanted.  _ Wanted to let go, wanted to bleed out until nothing hurt anymore, wanted to let Neji's light and warmth fill him up utterly, to let him guide his body and brain through uncharted space. Wanted to say  _ I love you. _ The words were on the tip of his tongue as Neji kissed him, and as they breathed together he wondered if Neji could taste them, if he  _ knew.  _ He swallowed hard to cage the words before he just went ahead and said them, felt his body start to lock and tremble, Neji shaking at his back as his rhythm grew rough.

_ 'Yeah,  _ come on Neji, wanna feel you come like this.'

The ruined moan that tumbled from those kiss-swollen lips pushed Shikamaru to his own knife-edge and he grit his teeth, held tight, wanted Neji falling into him too.

_ 'Shikamaru.' _

Neji tucked his brow to Shikamaru's temple, open mouth panting at his jaw, crying out as his orgasm hit as though it had been _him_ taken apart, taken to _pieces._ And _gods yeah,_ that was _it,_ he groaned as molten heat spilled over his thighs, painting his balls, dripping back along the valley of his ass. He swiped his hand through the perfect mess, took hold of himself again and jerked _hard,_ pace _rough,_ chased his own fall as Neji clung to him, kept them _so close._ When he felt the edge this time he ran toward it, pitched himself over, eyes closed tight as he arched and plummeted, _weightless,_ howling Neji's name through the blood rushing in his ears and the pleasure burning through his veins and the _light_ exploding behind his ribs. 

Neji's arms wrapped around him, pulled him back close, whispered his name against his cheek as he drew shaking breaths into his lungs. He slowly opened his eyes, met a gaze that held all the weight of those three little words he kept swallowing down, that maybe they  _ both  _ kept swallowing down, sought Neji's mouth for a kiss that was more a soft drag of lips than anything else, another point of contact, another anchor. Neji shifted to sit, dragged back the sheet they'd ruined and used it to clean them both enough to let sleep be comfortable, pulled blankets up over them as he curled back in. He hummed as Neji pressed a kiss to his neck, inhaled the scent of sweat and sex that would stay heavy on his skin while he fell asleep. And he  _ would  _ sleep now, could feel it creeping in, the volume turned down in his brain, the sweet weight of Neji at his back, the calm nestled into the spaces between his bones. The warmth of  _ them. _

'Stay like this?'

Neji's hand found a resting place over his heart, held him. 

'Mmm, I'm not going anywhere.'

_Yeah._ Yeah, he _knew._

**Author's Note:**

> Ms T <3 as always for being here for another episode of ninjas having sex and feelings. 
> 
> \---
> 
> Find me at littleaccomplice.tumblr.com where I’m reblogging stuff and tagging things badly. <3 is always appreciated if you enjoyed my rambling words!


End file.
